Lilacs and dog poo

In order to understand my panic, you must know three things: 1. I prefer to shower in the dark. 2. I have a housekeeper. 3. I am very nearsighted. Without my contacts and in the best light, I can distinguish color and basic shape. I can, for example, identify that there is...

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Zombie Apocalypse in 3…2…1

Oh my God. It’s July. How did this happen? Why did no one ask my permission? And do you know what’s worse? It’s almost July 4th. I know, I know. America, freedom, liberty. Down with the tea-drinking, dentally-challenged oppressors! I’m all for that. But holy hell,...

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