I love comments. In my heart of hearts, I want to leave the comments door wide open, lay out the welcome mat, put some cookies on a plate for any passing reader to nibble. Alas, when I allow comments without the sign-in business, I get 100 spam messages AN HOUR, and nobody needs that kind of help with their erectile dysfunction. Trust me. So take a minute if you’re a real person and do the registration thingy-ma-bob.

And if you’re a spammer, well then – (makes rude fart noise and flashes buttocks).