Have you seen The Kids Are All Right?

No? You should.

Go ahead. I’ll wait.

No, really. I’ll be right here when you get back.

Ba-de-dum da-da-dum la-la-de-de…

Back?

Great isn’t it?

Okay, now we can chat because holy mother of Jesus, Annette Bening.

Yowser.

Every lesbian blogger on earth has seen it and parsed it and laid out all the social and political nuances. They’ve done a fine job. I leave it to them. That’s not my bag. Mostly, I just want to talk about Annette’s neck.

She has a real woman’s neck!

It’s so amazing I had to use an exclamation point. She looks like a woman in her 50s, a stunning, amazing, beautiful woman. A real woman. With real skin and real character. She hasn’t been stretched and pulled and tacked. She hasn’t been butchered into looking permanently surprised and vaguely Asian. She has facial expressions. She looks like a woman who knows things, who has done things, who you’d want to have a conversation with.

I couldn’t get over it. I can’t get over it. How often do I get to see a woman looking so amazing and so authentic in her 50s? Why is George Clooney all over the damn place and not her, too? Why is it that we always hear men get better looking with age and women don’t?

I believed that crap. I know. I’m sorry to admit it. But the honest truth is that I did. They got to me.

No more, honey.

I want to look like Annette when I grow up, and until then, my husband is just going to have to be understanding because if she comes knocking on the bedroom door, she gets to come in.