1. My step-grandmother went into cardiac arrest. Brain death is possible. We’re still waiting.
2. I accidentally ate lunch in the basement of a Hare Krishna temple.
3. My agent wrote to say that even with her undeniable brilliance she can’t sell the paparazza book, and maybe I should write something else. Something she can, you know, sell.

I am emotional road kill; although the Hare Krishna temple did have a very amusing gift shop.

All of that lead to…

Things I Have Tried to Make Myself Feel Better

1. Cookies
2. Calling a writer pal
3. Alcohol

When the cookies didn’t work, I knew we were headed for the ditch. Calling a writer pal only proved that when beaten severely with an emotional stick, I’m kind of a bitch. That lead to a series of apology e-mails. So good, depression and guilt. Two great tastes that taste great together. All of that naturally leads to drinking, which as it turns out doesn’t actually help very much, but it does lessen how much you have to remember.

Once I pick myself up off the floor, I need to write 20 book ideas for my agent. And I should get up soon because it’s due on Monday.